Review of Next Day Air. Delivery!

Next Day Air is the film about some stupid hustlers who get a box full of cocaine in the mail delivered by a crack head who got the address wrong and the Hispanics who try to get their coke back go on a hunt through Philadelphia to find the punks who stole it. Wow. I'm going to need an Advil after that. Next Day Air actually flips between four story lines. There's the crackhead delivery man, there's the crackhead hoodlums who try to sell the coke, there's the crackhead cousin of one of the hoods who wants to buy the coke, and then there's the crackhead Hispanics who want to coke back. A lot of crackheads. In the end everybody ends up coming together and the firefight at the end is ridiculous and cool. The acting is strong on Mos Def's part, but he's only in two scenes. Most everybody else is just OK. The movie sometimes flips back in time as well in order to give somewhat of a humorous back story but usually it's just to keep the clock running and to waste your time. Actually, most of the scenes in here are cool and fun, but at some points I could tell that the editors just said screw it and just threw it together. The soundtrack is decent if you like Hip-Hop or Rap.The Verdict:While Next Day Air is funny, what it usually ends up delivering to be more stylized than humorous. If you like dark comedy or you like inner-city stories, it's worth a look. I give Next Day Air 3.5 puns with names out of 5. 3.5/5.

Review of The Unborn. Oi!

The Unborn is like The Exorcist's and The Omen's little demon spawn who wants to be like mommy and daddy but ends up falling flat on it's face. It is literally a Jewish rip-off of The Exorcist filled with Omen-like spooks. Sure, you'll jump or maybe even scream a bit, but after you'll just laugh at yourself for doing so. Here's the premise for this movie. Hot chick, check. Retarded boyfriend, check. Other hot chick who is first hot chick's best friend, check. Famous and good actors whose careers we are going to ruin, (Gary Oldman and Idris Elba are the victims here,) check. Spook, terrible story, and a script that makes said actors sound like foul-mouthed little children, check. Alright let's make us some good cash!The Verdict:Please, don't see The Unborn, you'll feel more tortured than someone stuck in one of Jigsaw's traps in Saw. This movie sucks. Plain and simple. I give it one upside down head out of five.

Review of Where the Wild Things Are. Welcome to the land of imagination.

Where the Wild Things Are. Where to begin? Ok. First things first. This is not a movie for kids. It's a bit brutal and scary and it delivers a message to the audience that the tykes won't understand. But all of that aside, it's a cinematic feat. Animation- awesome. Acting- superb. Cenimatography-phonomenal. The story is basicly this. A kid named Max, played by Max Records who does a surprisingly great job opposite people in big monster suits. Carol, the main Wild Thing character, is played by James Gandolfini and knocks this role out of the park. The rest of the Things are parts of Max's emotions. There's the obnoxious loudmouth, the shy guy, the quiet one, the rebel, the helper, and there's one that just sits there the whole time. Before I get off track, we need to get back to the story. Max gets angry with his mother and runs away. After he runs away he ends up in what I like to call "The Land of the Wild Things" and from there he is named king and goes on adventures and wild rumpuses alike. The score is almost perfect as well, with sad ballads and uplifting tunes you can't really go wrong with that either.The Verdict:Where the Wild Things Are is definitely different. Spike Jonze creates an entirely original story to let you connect with your inner child again. It's hard to enjoy if you can't understand it or analyze it correctly. I leave you with this. If you want your inner child to come out and have a wild rumpus for a hour and a half, see this. But if you want your inner child to crap it's pants, see Paranormal Activity. I give Where the Wild Things Are 4.5 truly wild Wild Things our of 5. 4.5/5.

Review of Drag Me To Hell. Gypsys love eyeballs!

Drag Me To Hell is the little sleeper movie that could. It boasts an ok cast, superb directing, and the effects are top notch. Sam Raimi is actually the one who directs this one. You may know him as the director of Spider-Man or The Evil Dead trilogy. He returns to the horror genre with a definite classic and an original thrill ride that is scary, funny, and violent to make those pesky teens who don't care about plot or acting swoon at these gross moments. Our "heroin," though, stars out as a loan officer who doesn't do a deal with the wrong devil and is now cursed to be tortured for two days and finally taken down to hell on the third. Her boyfriend vows to stay by her the whole time but you can tell he's thinking,"She's so full of crap." While the first hour and twenty minutes are cool and entertaining, the best happens in the last half hour when she goes to another gypsy to have the mean gypsy stop bothering her. Then it all goes downhill for her from there for your viewing pleasure!The Verdict:Drag Me To Hell is a great and fun film to watch. Check it out for the effects and funny script but leave (not literally) for the oatmeal acting provided. I give it five goats who swear at you out of five. 5/5.

Review of Paranormal Activity. Day and night, the lonely demon will stalk you day and night.

Paranormal Activity is the reenactment of the events that happed in San Diego in 2006. All of the events that happen follow Micah and Katie on a hi-def camera in their home. At first it's a very slow moving film at first just seeming like a girl is afraid of something is watching her and stalking her while her sarcastic boyfriend gets it all on tape. But as it progresses the paranoia sets in and more aggressive and creepy things start to happen so that by the end you'll be crapping your pants. As a matter of fact, the less you know about it, the better because it just adds to the already awesome experience. So I'm going to cut this review short and say that...The Verdict:Paranormal Activity is the scariest movie I've ever seen and most likely ever see. It's also got an odd, sick sense of humor that'll have you screaming and laughing at the same time. Go see it, but not alone. And don't forget to sleep with the light on. I give Paranormal Activity five self-attempted exorcisms out of five.

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is a film about the holocaust in world war II through the point of view of an eight-year-old boy named Bruno. Bruno is confused one day when he finds out he has to move to a far away place, and while it isn't mentioned in the movie, he moves to Auswich. And those of you who have done your history homework will know that that was a name of a concentration camp. No, he doesn't move into the camp rather than near it, in a beautiful home. One day Bruno goes exploring and discovers a fence and another boy behind it wearing pajamas. His name is Shmul. And while you can see the two kids bond, i couldn't help but feel it was a bit mechanical and too scripted. Gretel, Bruno's sister, is a bit rotten to him at the beginning but softens up towards the end espescally when their parents are fighting. Why, oh why do you love heated arguments Miramax? Why? You know it makes me sad! And this movie isn't shy about putting some pretty hating words about Jews and the Jewish religion. It's all for education though. The Verdict:The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is decent. While it may not have fantastic acting or perfect direction, or you can't get a deep connection with the characters, or even that it's a bit too short, it still shows emotion when it needs to and with a somewhat brutal twist at the end, it may make you think about yourself and even make you a bit sad. The Boy in the Striped Pajamas isn't great, so if your looking for a great WWII movie watch Schindler's List instead, you still might want to check it out or take your curious older kids to see it.I give it three wizards turned Nazi generals out of five. 3/5. Proffeser Lupin from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban is in this one. Just in case you wondered.

Review of Year One. Well, well, we meet again, confusion...

Year One is the story, wait did I say story? Sorry, I ment sketch after sketch jokes. That's what confused me. Year One is funny, if not hilarious. I laughed a lot but it was tied together with a "story" and it just wouldn't admit it was another movie like Life of Brian. I actually wish that it didn't have a story so it would make more sense. They have a great all-star cast like Jack Black, Micheal Cera, Oliver Platt, Hank Azaria, "McLovin" from Superbad, David Cross, ect. They all work well with each other but I felt the Jack Black and Michael Cera combo was a bit stale. How many times do I need to see a big guy and a little guy team up to save the day? The Verdict:Year One is filled with jokes, funny jokes. But some of the Bible jokes aren't funny unless you know the Bible and most people that do will be offended. Altogether Year One is like a 1000 piece puzzle with a funny picture when it's put together. Solid premice in great hands but doesn't ever come together.I give it three slave-stoning kids out of five. 3/5.